GraceConnexion

HCS GALA 2013 - Make your reservations now!

Don't miss the HCS Gala

Saturday, April 27th 6:30 - 10:00pm

New Location

The Pavilion 

7436 Nieman Rd
Shawnee, KS 66203

Reservations are $30 per person (age 13 and over only).
The fun of celebrating with your BT Friends is priceless!

Make ONLINE Reservations HERE
(1 through a table of 8) online with your credit card or PayPal account
or CALL the HCS Office 913-829-8810.

It will be a great evening of food, fun, fellowship, dancing, reconnecting with BTers, TAs and volunteers. You can invite family and friends to the Gala and introduce them to your HeartConnexion Community. 

Please call the office with any questions about the Gala

 

Pathway to HeartConnexion Living

Recently, Yvonne Hatfield shared with a BT3 group a "tool" that she pulled together to show how many of the basics in the BT experience flow together to bring a choice to either live our contracts or to live the FIBBES (Fixed Beliefs, Fixes Behaviours, Fixes Emotions) that we once believed were the truth as an automatic level. We found ourselves responding to situations in ways that we did not want to and that were costing us the quality of our life and relationships.

The response to her presentation was very positive so she presented it to the Connect group in KC and I shared it with the First Thursday group in NWA. We've refined the tool and put it into a graphic form with the help of Brett Glover.

Here is a link to download it as a pdf file you can view or print: Download spin_chart20130411.pdf (155.0K) 

Yvonne and I recorded a podcast that reviews the tool and we share some examples of using it. This tool, like the words of your contract, can seem underwhelming to other people because they are not a surprise to them - only to us. Folding the tool in half longways so you can only see the "B.S." (Belief System") side you can look back at what most of accepted as Truth before discovering The Truth. Opening it up to see the REAL and BS side can be a little like seeing the arrow in the Fed Ex logo for the first time - once you see it, that's all you can see. It's hard to imagine never having seen it since it's so obvious. 

We hope that The Truth about your worth and value embodied in your Contract is like seeing the Fed Ex Arrow. That is, you can't imagine going back to live out of the FIBBES and The Truth of your Contract seems so obvious that not choosing it is just not an option. If it's not that automatic for you yet, here is a way to think back through to where you can make a different choice. 

Blessings
Dr. Paul and Yvonne 

 

Carol Feltheim Interview

Carol was recently elected to the HeartConnexion Seminars Board. While she, Jay and their family have been active in HCS for several years, not everyone has had the opportunity to meet her. I'm sure you will find her as much of a delight as Susanna and I have.

In addition to atending BreakThrough Seminar, she attended the Purpose Vision Living Seminar. She  and  Jay  participated in Yesterday's Knot Today Seminar for BT couples. They have both been Training Assistants in several BreakThrough Seminars. 

Carol brings a wealth of experience, wisdom and passion to the Board and we are blessed as a community to have her as a member. 

Here is a link to the interview.

 

Stop Losing Energy with Incompletions

Incompletions are those nagging things we've let slide, stepped over and avoided dealing with that call for attention and we have to put energy into avoiding and tolerating. For example, surely everyone has that infamous "junk drawer" where odds and ends are stashed to be "put away and organized some day." Everytime we open it a "should" pops out as in "I really should_______." 

Some incompletions are small, nagging chores that remain undone. Others are risky conversations that we've avoided like the plague or the physical exam we keep delaying because we don't want to know what might be the source of our pain or discomfort. Large or small, they are energy leaks.

Creating the changes we want in our life requires reserves of time, energy and money. Without them, change is incredibly difficult to manage and is even more stressful. Completing our incompletions can free up an amazing amout of energy. 

Below is a link to a list of 50 suggestions that could be incompletions for you. They are simply suggestions and you may substitute others that are more significant for your life. If the item is one you have fully complete check it. If you don't have it complete but it really is not an energy leak, then check it as complete. If it is incomplete and an energy drain, then it could be a place you want to put some effort to make complete. You may want to assign a number scale to the items that are incomplete (1 = almost fully complete  9= very incomplete) and use that as a guide as to which one to focus on first and to measure your progress over time. 

Download Barriers to HeartConnexion Completions-1.pdf (70.3K)

Here is an audio podcast of Keith Rock sharing about his use of the Barriers to HeartConnexion Living. You can also find it at iTunes (https://itunes.apple.com/us/podcast/heartconnexion-seminars/id315527264?mt=2) :

 

Jesus, the CIA, My Father and Me - Book Recommendation

Jesus, My Father, The CIA, and Me: A Memoir. . . of Sorts ;- what a fascinating read! Love Cron's writing style and his metaphors. He blends his crazy family's personal story, how it affected his life to create his False-self/Poser-self and the points where the Trinity intercepted that process and gave him healing possibilities. His humor is a great example of how wounds that could have become life-long sources of shame can be redeemed from internalized-shame to internalized-grace. 

Here's my review: 

Cron's book is a very moving memoir that is very honest about the raw memories of growing up in a dysfunctional family. He shows how his False-self/Poser was created as a primary defense and how those experiences affected creating healthy adult relationships in his life. Excellent way to see the Don't Talk, Don't Feel and Don't Trust family-system rules at work in real life.  Without being preachy, he demonstrates the power of humor transforming and taking the toxic pain out of otherwise life-time shaming memories. His reflections trace the key moments that  demonstrate the Dance of the Trinity going on with him and in him but transparent to him.

 

Naked Spirituality - Book Recommendation

Naked Spirituality: A Life with God in 12 Simple Words - The title could create all kinds of mental images! No, not that kind of nakedness. If you are just starting to explore paths into more intentional spiritual practices, this is a great place to start. If you've been exposed to some of the ancient models or some of the traditional Evangelical models of "growing spiritually" and not found them as helpful as you hoped, then here is an approach I can recommend. 

My review on Goodreads.com: 

Excellent suggestions to get into a contemplative approach to spiritual formation (SF) practices that are workable for people in many life-stages with various spiritual backgrounds or none at all. Brian's approach avoids both the dualism and the comparison-trap people fall into with some more traditional models. By dualism, I mean the way traditional SF models devalued the material a world and idealized the spiritual - corruption of Platonism. Traditional SF models are often read as two-dimensional as successive "stages" of growth which leads to a self-sabotaging process of comparing where we are to either where we "should be" or where someone else appears to be. That kind of comparison-trap thinking may reveal our unresolved internalized-shame or trap us into a shaming SF model. Brian's approach is more suggestive then a "model" and reflects the multi-dimensionality of real life. 

 

Susanna's Back!

Remember the “Agreements” exercise in BT-1??  Well, back in 2006 I made an agreement with Paul and the HCS Board:  I would leave my “employment” with HeartConnexion and secure a job with benefits to cover the ever-increasing cost of our health insurance. 

BTer Wes Wadman pointed me toward a Clinical Social Work position at Truman Medical Center in downtown Kansas City.  There I rekindled my lifetime love of hospital work, while continuing to actively participate in BreakThrough.

Early in 2008, after reading “The Shack,” I allowed myself to give a voice to a buried dream of living in Florida… likely spawned by my distaste for all things cold and then fully erupted when I endured one of the worst winter storms alone while Paul sent me photos from his “business trip” in warm, sunny Florida.  You know the rest of the story (insert Paul Harvey’s voice here J).

I have enjoyed my job with the hospitals of the Central Florida Health Alliance and have experienced my Soul’s medicine in the BreakThrough sessions I’ve been able to be in.  Now that Paul and I have reached “age attainment” and each of us possess our Medicare cards, I am retiring from hospital work and returning to HeartConnexion and the life-giving positive energy of this amazing community.

My heart is overflowing with anticipation of this next part of my journey.  I am immensely grateful to Paul and the HCS Board for welcoming me back.

Two New HCS Board Members Elected

The HCS Board consists of six elected volunteers and the Executive Director. The elected members serve for a term of three years and are eligible for re-election for additional terms. 

Special thanks to Doug French and Pam Renner for their long-time service on the HCS Board of Directors. Doug served on the Board since 2000 and Pam has been a Board member since 2003. Both have made valuable contributions to the sucess of HCS. 

The Board recently elected Alan Chapman and Carol Feltheim as new members whose terms begin now through Daecember 31, 2015. Along with past and present members, they share a heart-deep passion for helping people find healing and wholeness through HCS. We are grateful for them agreeing to serve in this important role.

Alan Chapman (BT2 Nov 2008) is a CPA and business owner in Tahlequah, Oklahoma. He and Kara Beth (BT2 Sept 2009) and are very involved in the HCS community in Northwest Arkansas.

 

 

Carol Feltheim (BT2 2007) is a family practice physician in Overland Park Kansas. She and Jay (BT2 2000) are active in the HCS community in KC and have both served as Training Assistants. 

 

 

 

The Board members and their terms through:

Joy Campbell        12/31/2013
Sean Heston          12/31/2013 

Tammy Gainey     12/31/2014
Tim Nolen              12/31/2014 

Alan Chapman      12/31/2015
Carol Feltheim     12/31/2015 

Being a Fly On Wall at BT

Wish you could be a fly on the wall to hear and watch a BT training?  The TAs, Trainers and Trainees get that first-hand opportunity every session. The BT Alumni get a chance to know a little as they hear people share. Here is a sample of what the recent BT2 group in NWA shared about their experience. Maybe it will be a postive trigger about your experience or maybe it will be a trigger to share BT with someone you care about. Enjoy:

“I came to BT to find myself.  To find out the holes that needed to be filled and which ones I needed to empty out; to know where my heart was and find myself.  For me to be with a group of people I've never met and for whom I've never done anything and yet love me for who I am was amazing.  They do not judge and that's how I'm going to be.  I know that I was wasting valuable time and energy on crap and not the most important people in my life.”

“I came to BT to find out who I am and to get rid of the shame and guilt that I've carried for years.  I was able to open up to be lighthearted and to be HONEST and REAL!!  I am so blessed with all the new people my life that are now like family to me.  I am a different person!  I want to be joyful, laugh and dance in the rain.”

HCS Retreat - "clarity" weekend Aug. 3-5, 2012

HCS Retreat - "clarity" weekend of sharing, fun, discovering clarity with Dr. C. Baxter Kruger and several HCS Alumni sharing. Registration is open now by calling Janet Pippin King 479-531-9302 or lking05@yahoo.com. Click image for details.

 

 

The Shack Revisited Conference - Video Online

HeartConnexion Seminars presents Paul Young, C. Baxter Kruger and Paul Fitzgerald sharing at The Shack Revisited Conference, May 21, 2011. Special thanks to Brad Hill, Dave Lingenfelter, Vanessa Kersting, Tee Walker, Jennifer Merriner, Dan McNight (pastor of Kaw Prairie Community Church), his staff and amazing volunteers.

All sessions are also available as audio download or to listen online through another post on this blog. You can subscribe to HeartConnexion Seminars on iTunes and get future updates automatically.

Watch live streaming video from heartconnexion at livestream.com

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 1- Paul Young:
Paul Young, author of The Shack, opens the conference with his personal story behind the book's storyline. He also shares some of how the book moved from a simple project for his children to selling more than 12 million copies internationally.

Watch live streaming video from heartconnexion at livestream.com

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 2- Dr. C. Baxter Kruger:
Dr. C. Baxter Kruger shares the theological understanding of the Early Church (Nicene) Fathers about the Trinity and Incarnation and it's parallel to the portrayal Paul Young built into The Shack. It's more amazing grace then we've appreciated.

Watch live streaming video from heartconnexion at livestream.com

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 3- Dr. Paul Fitzgerald:
Dr. Paul shares the how internalized-shame often continues to complicate life even after we've found forgiveness for guilt. He shares a Compass of Shame Defenses that complicate healthy relationships and spirituality and suggests core elements for healing heart-wounds to live loved and love life.

Watch live streaming video from heartconnexion at livestream.com

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 4- Q & R:
Paul Young, Baxter Kruger and Paul Fitzgerald give responses (not answers :) to Conference participants questions.

 

 

 

 

The Shack Revisited Conference - Audio Online

HeartConnexion Seminars presents Paul Young, C. Baxter Kruger and Paul Fitzgerald sharing at The Shack Revisited Conference, May 21, 2011. Special thanks to Brad Hill, Dave Lingenfelter, Vanessa Kersting, Tee Walker, Jennifer Merriner, Dan McNight (pastor of Kaw Prairie Community Church), his staff and amazing volunteers.

All sessions are available as audio download or to listen online. You can subscribe to HeartConnexion Seminars on iTunes and get future updates automatically.

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 1- Paul Young:

Paul Young, author of The Shack, opens the conference with his personal story behind the book's storyline. He also shares some of how the book moved from a simple project for his children to selling more than 12 million copies internationally.

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 2- Dr. C. Baxter Kruger:
Dr. C. Baxter Kruger shares the theological understanding of the Early Church (Nicene) Fathers about the Trinity and Incarnation and it's parallel to the portrayal Paul Young built into The Shack. It's more amazing grace then we've appreciated.

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 3- Dr. Paul Fitzgerald:
Dr. Paul shares the how internalized-shame often continues to complicate life even after we've found forgiveness for guilt. He shares a Compass of Shame Defenses that complicate healthy relationships and spirituality and suggests core elements for healing heart-wounds to live loved and love life.

The Shack Revisited Conference Pt. 4- Q & R:
Paul Young, Baxter Kruger and Paul Fitzgerald give responses (not answers :) to Conference participants questions.

The Shack Revisited - Sharing by Paul Young and C. Baxter Kruger

Video of Paul and Baxter sharing at the Kaw Prairie Church on Sunday morning after the conference. Thanks to Dan McKnight and the church for all there assistance in helping create a wonderful weekend.

Please share and pass it on to your Facebook Friends.

Don't forget that anyone who purchased a ticket to The Shack Revisited Conference has a $99 scholarship for themselves or someone they designate to attend BreakThrough 1. The next session is June 24-26!

Watch for information about recordings of the full Conference.

Click here to view video.

Amazing Power of My Fear

The power of fear to sabotage our rational thinking is amazing. Recently, I was coaching one of the BT community about some fears they were facing and an old personal memory came back to mind. I can laugh at myself now, but I can also vividly remember the "feelings" I had back there and then.

For various reasons, my mother was very afraid that I was going to get hurt and it would be her fault. Part of that was the death of several children shortly after their birth and then the death of my sister when I was seven years old. All my peers were signed up for Red Cross swimming lessons at the local pool so I joined them. Of course my mother was fearful that I was going to drown.

Thoughts on Shame and Grace

In a recent conversation with Andre Oosthuizen on Facebook, I shared some of my journey to see internalized-shame as the significant barrier to internalizing grace.

Andre lives in Amanzimtoti, KwaZulu-Natal and has a wide-ranging ministry that is built on a “new paradigm” understanding about grace. The paradox is that this “new paradigm” is really the “old paradigm” of many Early Church Fathers that is now being recovered as the really “good news” about grace for guilt and shame.

Just thought I’d post my comments back to Andre for those interested in the larger “conversations” that are happening outside the BT Community.

Thank you Andre. Happy to share whatever I may offer to the conversation.

At about the same time you were pondering a "new paradigm" I was exploring a shift from seeing theology through a legal-guilt paradigm to a shame-grace point of view.... I discovered that shame is more of a dominant theme in Scripture than guilt.

Dr. Paul, "Any reading sugestions?"

Frequently, I have requests for reading suggestions related to some subject I've shared about shame, grace, Scripture, etc. Some people are even curious about what I'm reading these days.

Wonder no more; instead, check out HCM's Amazon Store with recommendations from Dr. Paul and Susanna. Some are general reading suggestions and others are for those who want to dive deep but there is something for everyone.

Do Not Fear Doubt

In too many spiritual communities doubt remais a taboo subject. Pete Enns offered an interesting essay about the need for doubt as part of spiritual growth and maturity and it was reposted on the Jesus Creed blog.

It's funny what we remember from long-ago fleeting moments. More than 30 years ago I first heard a speaker say,"Wonder how atheists feel when they wake up doubting their faith?" It was said in a humorous way to take the stigma preventing young believers from discussing their honest doubts. In those circles, it was disgraceful to admit any doubt or challenge certain opinions - although we all did in secret. The comment created a safe place for an honest and stimulating conversation as well as a hunger for more of them.

Here's just a snipplet:

“Let go and let God.” It’s true—but “letting go” might be more than we bargained for. We must be taught, for we will not willingly go there ourselves. When we are not letting go, when we try to stay in control of something, cling to something as Mother Teresa says, that’s when God turns off the light and makes it dark—not because he is against us, but because he is for us.

Being out of control is another way of saying “dying to yourself.” When we are out of control, that is when God can speak to us—without all of the layers of stuff we have piled up inside of us. God puts us out of our control so that we can learn to trust—like Mother Teresa said—not “believe” or “have faith” but something deeper and harder: trust.

You can only trust when you have let go completely, when you don’t try to control. When we learn to trust God out of our emptiness, when God is out of our control—when God…becomes God more deeply in us—when we surrender and trust…well… we become liberated from our attachments, from our fears, and we learn to live with freedom and joy. That is the Christian journey.

Dear God Untie the Knots....Tracey Fuller

Great prayer shared by Tracey Fuller whose BreakThrough continues to take her into more living loved and loving life:

Dr. Paul - I got the prayer below from Motivational Thoughts & Quotes here on Facebook. It screams BT and reflects so succinctly much of my experience in BT, obtaining the tools to finally untie all of the knots to free my heart and soul. I thought I'd share with you on this blessed day of giving thanks.

Love to you and Susanna!

We all have knots of some measure from time to time!!!

Dear God:

Untie the knots that are in my mind, my heart and my life.
Remove the have nots, the can nots and the do nots that I have in my mind.
Erase the will nots, may nots, and the might nots that may find a home in my heart.
Release me from the could nots, would nots and should nots that obstruct my life.
And most of all, Dear God, I ask that you remove from my mind, my heart and my life all of the "am nots" that I have allowed to hold me back, especially the thought that I am not good enough!!!
AMEN

BreakThrough Continues….Laurie Johnson

It's always good to hear that the impact of attending BreakThrough continues long after sessions end. Here's an example of one Laurie Johnson's continuing experience:

Papa is so good...I was reading 1 Corinthians 15 today and realized that I wasn't afraid of death/heaven/hell.

I realized that I wasn't afraid anymore because my perception of Papa had changed. When I thought of death before I pictured standing before Papa and hearing "You're not good enough. You didn't do enough." Now I see his smile and hear him say "hey girl I've been waiting for ya come on in..got a place right here."

Perfect love does cast out fear.

Happy thanksgiving..I am truly grateful to you and Susanna for helping me see what was right in front of me.
4ssss
Laurie

HCM Logo Merchandise Store is Open!

Remember the T-shirt Logo design contest a few months back? Well, as of right now you can order t-shirts and various other items with a variety of the winning designs submitted and more are coming.

And, it's just in time for the Gift-giving Season. Take a look at the items and let's see who shows up first with a new HCM logo item to an HCM event.

Thanks to Team Timothy members Michael Renner and Tee Walker and a big thanks to Brent Coonrod for creating the store and many hours of labor in getting it up and running.

Click on the logo or here to explore the store. We're open to suggestions for products as well as additional designs you want to submit.

On Waiting For Baggage

Waiting for baggage to come up today, it suddenly struck me how everyone standing there was so somber and serious-looking. You might have thought that the fate of Western civilization depended on getting their luggage and moving on into life.

However, the flight arrived at least 15 minutes early. It was a great flight. and not crowded at all. Everyone who got off the flight was exactly where we wanted to be when they got on in Orlando. Yet, it was as if the weight of the world was on everyone's shoulders.

It suddenly felt awkward to be really happy to be in Kansas City.  When the conveyor belt stopped for what seemed to many to be an eternity,  blood drained from already worried faces. There was a begrudging celebration when it began to move again and everyone focused on the moving bags.