It's one thing to get clarity about the next steps in your life journey and another to actually follow-through. Intuitively, we think that announcing our intention publicly will "keep us accountable'" to follow through - that is, we create our own potential shame risk if we don't pursue it. Actually, talking too much about it may sabotage our follow through.
A friend who attended the recent Clarity retreat found this article to be very helpful in grasping this paradox "Want to Achieve a Huge Goal? Start by Shutting Up."
Here's my response:
Thanks for the article. I quite sure that sabotaging happens to many of us. The core issue motivating us is really not doing the "task" itself as it is the sense of fulfillment/meaning/satisfaction that we imagine experiencing on the other side of it - that sense of "being enough." In fact, tackling the actual "task" often results in it becoming not a means but an obstacle to our real desire for fulfillment/meaning/satisfaction. So, the very thing we thought would bring meaning is now keeping us from it and we often wind up resenting it as it was a enemy rival. This same dynamic happens in seeking relationships that we are sure will make our life complete. The very person whose love we knew "for sure" would make our life meaningful can suddenly become an obstacle and seem to be intentionally withholding from us what we desire. Or, we get through the task, have the ideal job or have the dreamed for relationship only to find it fails to be enough to bring the meaning we imagined. The deep shame-based disappointment can be soul shattering.
Therein lies a distinction in how our Purpose Vision Living Seminar addresses the idea of "living on purpose." If we know who we are, grasp at a deep level that we are already loved and enough then we can begin to identify our life-purpose - not to be enough but to live out being enough. Then we are in a place where our desire shifts from "doing enough to be enough" to "doing something that expresses our being enough." That frees us to "live loved and love life" without regard to the circumstances that happen over which have little control and without regard to the choices of others over which we have less influence than we imagine.
Connect with me on LinkedIn.